Sincerity Is Your Kryptonite

Dear Me,

You’ve never been an emotional-in-public kinda person. In fact, you are sarcastic in order to avoid emoting at all. Your wedding day was great but the only reason you cried was because you were so hungry. Your husband once joked “Sincerity is your kryptonite.” But it was like, not a joke?

But then you had a baby. And, yikes, things changed.

You cried publicly for the first time ever when you had to endure the flaming pain of mastitis when the baby was one month old and that trip to the doctor was the longest you had spent away from him and it was all too much. You cried in front of your team at work when you were dealing with a heavy co-worker situation. Girl. You. Cried. At. The. End. Of. Avengers: Infinity War.

Maybe it’s hormones. But more likely it’s the fact that you only just discovered what it’s like to want the world to be a better place, and for it to be a happy, safe place for your child. You had been so focused for years on finding yourself, and all of a sudden those maternal instincts kicked in and you want to comfort everyone, and unironically compliment people, and just be better. You never understood that Jack Nicholson line from As Good As It Gets, “You make me want to be a better man,” until now. Your child forces you to think about your actions and be a better you. Maybe other people’s partner or friends do this too, but for you, it was that little face.

Of course you lose it once in a while when that little face, now five years old, prefers the iPad and gummy candy to you, but 99% of the time, you try harder because you have learned what true love is.

Liz

P.S. Your past and present self definitely can’t believe you quoted As Good As It Gets, and we’ve both agreed to never speak of it again.